9/05: Growing up is hard to do

Getting (and keeping) the attention of a dozen 5, 6, and 7 year olds who have no idea what I'm saying might be one of the hardest things I'll ever do. On top of not understanding the lessons, students don't always know or respond to their English names, so calling out a student's name is as effective as yelling "Hey, you!" in an American classroom.

Luckily, during our morning classes, there's usually a Korean teacher in the classroom either sitting with the kids or working on other things. When the kids get too loud, the teacher will say a bunch of things in Korean and the students shape right up. This situation is a little awkward because I don't know what the teacher's saying so I don't know if I should stop and wait for her to finish or keep going. It also makes me feel inferior -- like I can't control the class -- when the Korean teachers speak up. The other teachers assure me this is how the dynamics should be, but it's still a strange feeling as a teacher.

Other times, the Korean teachers hold side conversations with students and I don't know if they're helping them understand or being distracting or what's happening. I swear at least three times a day I think to myself, "I have no idea what's happening right now." The uncertainty is a bit unnerving, but also freeing. There are so many things that I just cannot do or help with that I can give myself a break from being a major control freak all the time.

Another foreign concept for me is not being busy. I got a crash course in "la dolce far niente" this summer, but didn't expect the idleness to carry over into the school year. Don't get me wrong, my school days are jam-packed and usually pretty hectic, but after school I get to do whatever I want without after-hours obligations AND I get money?! Is this real life? For at least a decade,  it seems like I have had responsibilities and deadlines looming over me, making me feel anxious or guilty if I wasn't doing something. None of that here. I get to leave work at work. Being a grown-up is not overrated in the least.

Speaking of awesome grown-up things: I'm starting to think about what I'll do for winter vacation, and I'm not sure if I want to travel around Korea or out of it. Right now, I'm researching cheap flights to Thailand, Japan, China, the Philippines, and Taiwan. Let me know if you have any recommendations!